My Teacher Lives On
/I am learning something new.
As someone who has lived with depression all of my life, the concept of “sadness,” just sadness, and grieving, without sliding down into the abyss of the darkness….This is a whole new experience.
rev. rachel hollander
Rev. Rachel Hollander lives a kaleidoscope life as a Minister, Singer, Songwriter, Teacher, Writer, Interpreter, Counselor, Officiate.
“You won’t be able to fly unless you are willing to transform.”
- Suzy Kassem
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Recently, I saw a devastatingly phenomenal film, All of Us Strangers. It was powerful for me on so many levels. The lead character, the story, the backstory, the trajectory, the journey….Everything about it touched me so deeply. It reached all of my most vulnerable places and has taken up residence in my mind, heart, and soul.
I am learning something new.
As someone who has lived with depression all of my life, the concept of “sadness,” just sadness, and grieving, without sliding down into the abyss of the darkness….This is a whole new experience.
It happened again.
I sat down. And I couldn’t get up.
Well, let’s be honest. Of course, I could get up. I’m not physically incapable of getting back up.
However, there’s a difference between being physically capable and feeling emotionally immobilized.
Here we go….
Whatever you are feeling is completely acceptable.
If you want to cry, scream, laugh, rage, hide, smile, remember or forget.
It’s all acceptable.
Someone recently shared a meme with me. It showed a heart walking along the road carrying a big burden labeled, “past trauma.”
Wistful
It’s that time of year.
Actually, for me, that time of year starts around early September. That time of year that I can only identify as….Wistful.
There is a Buddhist story about a monk who wants to find a quiet place to meditate. After failing to find a quiet enough spot, he decides to get in a boat and go out onto the lake. No one else was around so he was sure he would finally be able to have some peace and quiet to meditate.
As I talked to myself, while washing dishes, something was said by someone that I thought was me. It didn’t sound like me, though. What that voice said was something that I had never said before. Something I did not even know that I knew.
When I first moved to Anchorage, Alaska, I was hired on at The Alaska Zoo as a gardener. Anyone who knows me would laugh at that. I know nothing about plants, flowers, or anything related to gardening!
Seven years ago today, on August 6, my buddy Carl graduated from Earth School. Leaving me without my Guardian, my Brother, one of my great Loves.
Rev. Rachel Hollander • revrachelhollander@gmail.com Website Design: Victoria Price Art & Design.